Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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