It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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