Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
