How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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