We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
