you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
