he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
