are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
