so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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