My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
