I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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