'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
