There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
