I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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