Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
