I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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