It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
