Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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