he wants to bone in the snuggie
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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