And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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