I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
