It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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