i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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