That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
