She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
