Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
