i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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