Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
