at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
