I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
