she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival