she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.