sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
