went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
