My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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