I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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