you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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