she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
