Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
