Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
