I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
