oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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