oh god the rape fog is back!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
