HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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