Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
