I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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