i just wanna soil my oats bro
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
