i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
