If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
