would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
