She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
