It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
