You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
