Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
