I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
