omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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