the condom got lost in my hair
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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