So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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