Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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