i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
