Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
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Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires