it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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