I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
