when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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