I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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