Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
