Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize