your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
