i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Omg I joined a choir last night...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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