Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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